I'm Going to Pretend I Know What I'm Doing

Lately, the world has been a terrible place. For the past two weeks, my newsfeed has been exploding with horrific violence in Paris, then ignorant, xenophobic comments on Facebook, and finally Donald Trump. This crap hardens your soul, and I’m lucky enough not to have to live in the direct line of fire. Life can be awful. People can be awful. I’m so lucky because most of my life is filled with people who amaze me all the time. But sometimes, it seems like the world just wants to push the big red button. I am saying this with full acknowledgement that even the things I love will cause heartache.

As much as I would be happy to say OT is always lighthearted and silly, in actuality therapists arrive in someone’s life at the worst time. Typically, it’s after a diagnosis, injury, or surgery. When we talk about meeting new clients in class, I sometimes picture walking into a room unannounced, during a very intimate conversation. There is an uncomfortable lull, and you know that you are the last person this family wants to see. Health care is not an easy field. Any healthcare worker could give you numerous stories of their best, and worst days. It’s going to be hard. Somedays, it already feels hard.

First year OT students have an introduction to conditions class, it’s the tip of the iceberg for disease and disability. The class can be rough, it’s hard hearing about symptoms that affect so many people. Now, I know as OTs you focus on modification, improving quality of life, adapting, and enhancing occupational performance. But, you know that there will be cases that will be hard on your heart. It’s the nature of the job, and something I’ll learn to live with. Sometimes, I worry that it will interrupt my ability to be a good therapist. I have some anxiety there, I have some fears lurking in the corner that i’m not quite ready to tackle. But here is some perspective, and I might just be writing this for me, but I believe that there is always an opportunity for good. I am an optimist at heart. I’ve been called, “too happy”, “too emotional”, and “too sensitive” more times than I can count. -- And yes, I also thought the “too happy” comment was a bit ridiculous, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Anyway, I see the glass as half-full. I like cheering people on, and giving a pep-talk gets me stoked on life.

Bad things are going to happen in life. It’s inevitable. If someone goes through life without a broken-heart of some-sort then they are doing sometime wrong. I saw this video  the other day on empathy over sympathy. It helped me put perspective on all the sad things we experience.  Getting hurt sucks, whether it’s a bad breakup, or losing someone close to us, it’s a terrible, painful process. However, while some may choose to go through life void of emotion. I believe that raw, true connection is where we discover those people we cannot live without. In grief, or sadness there is no "bright side", sometimes you have to go through the worst case scenario. It's hard, and awful, but you discover that there is always someone there. Wanting to hold you up, wanting to hug you, wanting to cry with you. That's how we find love, friendship, and companionship. This is applicable to any scale of sadness, there is always someone there for you. This is a reminder for myself, and for you too, dear reader. There is someone who cares about you, maybe you have known them for years, or maybe you will meet them down the line.

Humans are durable. We’ve had to be. We’ve already gone through so much as a species. And yes, we are the reason for a lot of destruction in the world, but we also contribute to the beauty. So, in light of Thanksgiving this week, go call a friend you haven’t spoken with for awhile, write a ‘thank you’ note to someone important in your life. Show appreciation to the people and world around you. Spread some goodness. There is a lot to be thankful for.

The Reason Why Women Should Work

This past week was filled with midterms, and more midterms, meaning I didn’t have time to write. I spent more time with my classmates and cadavers than with anyone in my social or familial circle. Being surrounded by smart, hardworking women infuriates me. Not because of jealousy, or comparison, but because these incredibly talented women will likely not make the same salary as our male coworkers.

It’s common knowledge that women do not make the same salary as men. In Utah, the gender wage gap is even larger. Fewer women are getting their college degrees, and many women who do work are capped at a lower wage. I find no issue when a woman decides not to work because of her own personal decisions, when a woman doesn’t work because she does not feel capable is when the problem arises.

Now, I understand that careers and college is not for everyone. Some women may have no interest in higher education, or a career at all. There is nothing wrong with this, I am not judging these people. In fact, this whole post is “Life according to Liza”. Feel free to disagree with my perspective, that is no problem. I simply want to encourage more women to work. If women expect to get paid at the same level as men then we need to make our presence known. Our impact will be greater if we have higher numbers in the work force. Change will occur when there is no other option at hand. Also, like I previously said, I love being surrounded by bad ass women.

For work oriented people, having a career is important. I’m not promoting work as a social justice platform, rather I think careers promote a healthy sense of self. Careers provide meaningful challenges and encourages improvement. Humans thrive off of setting and achieving goals, careers help accomplish this. Of course, this can take place outside of a work setting, but getting a paycheck for accomplishing something outside of yourself is pretty cool, too.

As I previously mentioned, Utah faces a larger gender discrepancy than other states. I believe this is a multifaceted problem, and I am certainly not able to solve it. From my experience, there is a negative connotation with working women. Growing up in Utah, people commonly ask me, “what’s it like not having your mom around?”, when I told them my mom had a career. This question is not only ignorant, but it’s also outrageous. The assumption was that my mom chose a career over her children. This is absolutely NOT correct. My mom was always available for me. She took me to soccer practice, picked me up from musical theater rehearsal, attended every game I played, and always made time for us to talk one-on-one. My mom was present. And yes, we did things differently because she worked, but every family functions differently. Who is anyone to judge?

Looking back, I am insanely grateful my mom was a professional. She set an example for me, which had lead me to a career that I love. In fact, the reason I know about OT was because she worked with one, and she told me to research the career. Because of that, I get to do something that I love, and I (eventually) will get paid for it!

Additionally, my mom also gave me a gift when she did work. I became more independent. I learned how to cook, I learned how to do my homework without my parents nagging me to get it done, and I learned how to not lock myself out of my house (after locking myself out of our house multiple times). She found a balance and we worked as a family to make everything work, and guess what? It always did.

The perception of working women who have families needs to change. There are so many great things that can come from having female professionals. The benefits that we bring to the table are different. Women are more perceptive, detail oriented, and easier to get along with. We are able to fill in the gaps of our wonderful male co-workers. We can provide a different perspective to the problem.  The belief that women cannot work and be mothers has to be dropped. I want to live in a world that is encouraging for everyone to do the thing that lights their fire. I’ve seen so many smart girl friends belittle their abilities because society has told them they can’t do it, or that they shouldn’t want to. Like I said before, I am not sure on how to change this, but I know i’m going to keep hunting for the answer.

To be continued…